This summer for me…has been a lot about making new friends, particularly girl friends. I have never been the girl to make friends with other girls very easily, and when I do, they are not nearly as fulfilling as the friendships I have with guys. I don’t know what it is, but that is my life, and I have chosen to accept it. However, there are some things that guys just cannot provide, like a companionship on those nights where you just want to watch chick flicks and chow down on ice cream for hours. So I decided to try and reach out to the few girls I had in my life that I could see as being potential really good friends, and what I discovered was something that I like to call friend “dating.”
This term is basically what I call the period of time in between where your friendship is just a “friendship” and that moment where it becomes something completely amazing, where this girl becomes one of your literal FRIENDS – where she becomes that girl you talk/go shopping/eat/do life with. Now the build up to this moment and the actions/stress that precede it are basically the same as those when I date a significant other. I spend the same amount of time debating whether or not to text this person as I do when I’m flirting with a crush. It literally took me two hours to decide whether or not to invite one girl out to dinner. I kept asking myself so many questions. Am I coming on to strong? Will she think I have no friends (more like will she KNOW I have no friends)? Will she get scared and run away? What if she has other friends that are cooler than me and I’m just that awkward girl that tags along? IS THIS A PITTY DATE?
I have no idea if anyone else stresses this way about friend “dating” – I kind of hope that I’m not the only one. So for everyone out there, who has the same social anxiety that I do surrounding making new friends, find comfort in the fact that you are not alone. We are all a bit socially challenged and over thinking things is one of the many traits that we may inherit.
One tip I do have in this situation is to just go for it, make that plunge and dive into the new friendship. Be yourself. If you want to hang out with this person, post a link on their wall, snap chat them, GO FOR IT. They may be stressing the same way you are so it’s not a bad thing to make the first move. If you don’t, you may constantly be left wondering if this girl could have been THE ONE!
TXTgirl :: Los Angeles, CA